Caution: TMI!

I had the nastiest mommy experience the other day. I vividly remember an old email between me and my friend Naomi where we were talking about poop. I told her about how Audrey was wearing a sleeper and crapped all down her leg. The leg was filled with it! I literally took it outside and had to hose it down, then washed it by itself using the "sanitary cycle". When we bought that washing machine the salesperson told us it comes in handy with kids and she was right. Anyway, Naomi responded something like "just wait till it get's in your eye or your mouth". I thought about that and laughed for days, maybe weeks. It was one of those things that I found humorous and scary at the same time. When I told Chris he didn't know if we should believe her. I figured, hell yeah we should believe her. Another kid I know, sweet little Molly, took off her diaper and spread crap all over the wall, her crib, and herself, so why couldn't another mom get crap in her mouth? I've heard poop stories from too many moms not to believe it. No, Audrey didn't crap in my mouth, but she did vomit in my eye. I know I shouldn't be sharing this with the world (or the 6 people that read our blog), but this was defintely an experience for me. Audrey and I were sitting in my bed watching the Ghost Whisperer. She didn't find it very intriguing, so I was lifting her up in the air to make her laugh and distract her so I could finish the show. There's a Mother's Day picture of me holding her up like that. She loves it. She smiles and giggles everytime I lift her. I don't throw her like some people do with their babies (that freaks me out, so don't do that to my baby!), but after going up a few times I was holding her there and we were having a tender moment smiling at each other and it happened. It went straight into my open eye. Not a little dribble either. It filled the freakin eye socket. I half screamed, half laughed and Chris came running up from downstairs. He saw me holding a towel over my eye and he very casually said: "She puked in your eye, huh?". Sadly, this game is now over. At least until the reflux goes away. This is your official warning....don't lift Audrey into the air unless you want to join the club. Not a fun club to be in, but I must admit I feel like I earned some kind of mommy badge. Sorry, no pics for this post. Maybe next time.